i will remember, the resolution from today.

I should have written this a long time ago, so that no matter what comes, i won't forget.

I write, because i don't want to hope that he comes back anymore. cos it only hurts, since it won't happen.

1. because we were a hinder to each other's growth
2. becuase you no longer are the person i loved, the one with dreams, ambition, and a hope
3. because you weren't happy.
4. because you wanted to give up (did i make it sound like i wanted to as well? well, i never could have)
5. because you wanted to play games which though i sucked at, i didn't mind, except that you were so absorbed in them, i was afraid (well, my fears realized, didn't they)
6. because perhaps to you it was just a matter of convenience, and our past, rather than our future
7. because the minute you left (which i didn't even know) you found someone new
8.
9. because you defended her, when u never even defended me. ( i do remember angel tearS)
10.becuase it was always for you and about you, but what about the rest around you?
11.because you seem to give up on the rest of your life other than your games and your new girlfriend
12.because you don't care for your parents anymore
13.because you don't wish to talk to me about you anymore (i hate it when we just talk about me)
14.because you didn't come after me even when i hurt my foot and sat there waiting for you for a whole hour.
15.because you aren't truthful anymore.
16.because you broke all ur promises again.
17.because all you wanted was someone by your side, not someone who loved you as a person. though i hope she does. then again, can i say i don't like her no matter what?
18.because i can but only feel this way and be sad because this is what you want.
19.because you didn't even give me an answer or a change to save anything.
20.because you made it so difficult for me.
21.because you said, our future was not real.
22.because everything we gave up seem to not matter
23.because to you, i'm no longer your princess or angel
24.because you call someone else before you sleep, and you say 'i love you' to her.
because you don't love me anymore

now, now now now.
discipline myself to look forward.
God. please bring me happier days.
though i might not be able to be a good child of Yours yet.
i don't pray for you anymore.
just like you don't see me in your dreams anymore.

speaking of dreams.
i dreamt that you showed me all your pictures and stuff that you did with XXXXX.
well. at least that dream ended the others that kept have you calling to say that this was all just a test or a wrong decision or those shit.
but no more! no more!

if i love you on my own, does it hold any meaning? i guess i would have, if you hadn't change. but you have, you told me yourself.

So.
A new dream:
i want to see the world
the world and learn everything i can.
to be better. and better.

This is a reminder for me. so that even the darkest of nights, even when i yearn for the dreams i cannot have, i will remember.